The Thoughts You Inherited vs. The Dreams You Deserve… Who’s Really Running the Show?
It's 2:47 AM, and you're wide awake, staring at the ceiling. Your mind is racing with the same familiar thoughts: Why didn’t I change careers years ago? What if it's too late to change careers now? What would my husband say about me changing careers now? Who do I think I am to want more in my career?
If this scenario feels painfully familiar, you're in good company! I lived this exact experience during much of my 25-year career. Even as I climbed the corporate ladder and achieved what looked like success on paper, there was this persistent voice questioning whether I was really living the life I wanted… or just following a script someone else had written for me.
As a mindset coach who specializes in working with midlife women, I see this pattern SO often… Brilliant, accomplished women who've allowed decades of conditioning to convince them their best opportunities are behind them.
Here's what I want you to understand: Those thoughts didn't appear overnight! They've been programmed into your subconscious through years of societal messaging, workplace and life experiences, and well-meaning advice from people who believed they were protecting you from disappointment.
The question isn't whether you can change these thought patterns – science proves you absolutely can. The question is whether you're ready to reclaim the mental real estate that's been hijacked by limitations that were never truly yours to begin with.
The Neuroscience Behind Your Mental Prison
According to research from the National Science Foundation, we have approximately 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day. Here's the startling part: studies show that roughly 80% of these thoughts are negative, and 90% are repetitive. This means most of us are essentially playing the same pessimistic mental soundtrack on repeat, day after day.
I like to think of your brain's neural pathways like well-worn grooves on a gravel road. If you've ever driven on gravel, you know how those ruts can literally pull your car in a direction you didn't choose. And your thoughts work the same way! They naturally follow the easiest, most familiar route, which is often the path of least resistance carved by years of repetitive thinking.
For midlife women, these mental grooves often include thoughts like:
"I should just be grateful for what I have"
"It's too risky to change careers at my age"
"What will people think if I fail?"
"I need to prioritize my family's needs over my dreams"
But here's where it gets interesting… Neuroplasticity research demonstrates that we can literally rewire our brains by consciously choosing different thoughts. A good mindset coach understands how to leverage this science to help you create new neural pathways that serve your goals rather than sabotage them.
Energy Leadership Is The Framework That Changes Everything
In my mindset coaching practice, I use a science-backed framework called Energy Leadership, which was developed by the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching and was even recognized by Forbes as one of the top 11 leadership tools. This approach recognizes that every thought carries either catabolic energy (draining) or anabolic energy (energizing). During my corporate days, I was operating primarily in catabolic energy without even realizing it. No wonder I felt exhausted by 3 PM every day!
When you operate in catabolic energy levels, your body releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. While these can be helpful short-term, chronic exposure keeps you stuck in fight-or-flight mode, making it nearly impossible to see opportunities or think creatively about future solutions.
The seven energy levels break down like this:
Catabolic Energy Levels:
Level 1 (Victim): "I'm stuck and have no options"
Level 2 (Conflict): "I'm angry about my situation but fighting against it"
Level 3 (Coping): "I'll just rationalize why this is fine"
Anabolic Energy Levels:
Level 4 (Service): "I focus on helping others"
Level 5 (Opportunity): "I see possibilities everywhere"
Level 6 (Synthesis): "I trust the process and my intuition"
Level 7 (Creation): "I create my reality from pure passion"
The transformation happens when you learn to consciously shift from catabolic to anabolic thinking. Instead of "I'm too old to start over" (Level 1), you might think "I have decades of wisdom that give me a unique advantage" (Level 5).
The Real Cost of Hijacked Thinking
Research published in the Harvard Business Review shows that employees who feel mentally and emotionally engaged at work are 31% more productive and report significantly higher job satisfaction. I was definitely not in that category during my final years in corporate…
When your mindset is stuck in limitation, you:
Accept opportunities below your potential
Stay in roles that drain your energy
Avoid risks that could lead to breakthrough moments
Discount your decades of accumulated wisdom and experience
Model settling for your children and colleagues
But when you work with a mindset coach to shift these patterns, you begin to see that your experience is your competitive advantage. You see that those years of learning, growing, and overcoming challenges have equipped you with insights that can't be taught in business school. In short… EVERYTHING changes!
The Midlife Mindset Advantage
Contrary to what culture tells us, midlife is actually the optimal time for reinvention. Studies from the Stanford Center on Longevity reveal that people in their 40s, 50s, and 60s often have greater emotional regulation, clearer priorities, and stronger problem-solving skills than their younger counterparts. The school of life has taught us well over the years, bringing wisdom and holistic thinking that can only come from life experience, according to Chip Conley, author of Learning to Love Midlife.
You're not starting over – you're building on decades of foundation. And you're positioned perfectly to create something meaningful with the wisdom you've gained. The question isn't whether you're qualified to pursue your dreams; it's whether you're ready to stop letting misguided thought patterns and outdated programming run your life.
Taking Back Your Mental Real Estate
So how do you reclaim the thoughts that have hijacked your dreams? The process starts with awareness and progresses through intentional practice.
Step 1: Conduct a Thought Audit
For the next week, pay attention to your automatic thoughts, especially around career and personal goals. Write them down without judgment. Notice patterns and identify which energy level each thought represents.
Step 2: Challenge the Programming
When you catch yourself in a limiting thought, ask: "Is this actually true, or is this programming I've absorbed from others or allowed in from my inner critic?" Often, you'll realize these thoughts aren't based on current reality but on outdated fears or external expectations.
Step 3: Choose Your Energy Level
Before important conversations, decisions, or challenges, consciously choose which energy level you want to operate from. A mindset coach can teach you specific techniques to shift your energy in real-time.
Step 4: Create New Neural Pathways
Replace limiting thoughts with empowering alternatives. Instead of "I don't have the energy this requires," try "I'm choosing to invest my energy in what matters most to me." Repetition creates new grooves in that gravel road.
Your Permission Slip to Dream Again
The thoughts that hijacked your dreams convinced you that wanting more was selfish, unrealistic, or irresponsible. I believed this story for years. But what if the opposite is true? What if pursuing your authentic goals is the most generous thing you can do – for yourself, your family, and everyone who watches you model what's possible?
Shifting your mindset isn't about positive thinking or pretending challenges don't exist. It's about developing the mental tools to navigate obstacles from a position of strength rather than scarcity. It's about recognizing that your thoughts are choices, not facts, and that you have far more power than you've been conditioned to believe.
Your dreams are NOT too big, too late, or too much. They're the natural expression of who you were meant to become. The question is: are you ready to stop letting hijacked thoughts write your story and start authoring the next chapter yourself?
The gravel road of your mind has been carved by decades of experiences, but YOU hold the power to choose a new path! Every thought is an opportunity to steer toward limitation or possibility.
Which path will you choose?
Ready to discover what's possible when your career and your energy are aligned? Take my FREE Career Alignment Assessment to identify where misalignment might be holding you back from the fulfillment you deserve.
I’m Dawn LaRae, The Midlife Career Whisperer™! I help midlife women design their dream career so they can experience passion and purpose in their work.
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