Want to Make a Change? Your First Step Starts Right Here!
I was having coffee with a friend last week, and she said something I’ve been thinking about since. "I know I want to make a change in my life. And I've listened to all the self-help podcasts, read every article, and I still haven't made any real progress. It feels like I know exactly what I need to do, but I just... can't seem to do it."
Can I tell you what I saw happening? She'd gathered all the tools, mapped out the strategy, and built the perfect plan. BUT she was still operating from the same mindset that got her stuck in the first place.
You can have the clearest vision, the most detailed action plan, and all the support in the world. But if your internal programming is still running that same old loop of "Who do you think you are?" and "This will never work for someone like you," you'll sabotage yourself a thousand different ways before you even start. Trust me, I’ve learned this lesson several times myself!
The first step to making any meaningful change in your career isn't updating your resume or networking more strategically. It’s not even getting crystal clear on your goals. The very first step is a mindset shift. Because until you address what's happening between your ears, everything else is basically just shuffling papers around your desk!
When Your Mindset Becomes Your Prison
You know that Sunday night feeling? That subtle (or maybe not too subtle) knot in your stomach when you think about Monday morning? You've been telling yourself for months (maybe years) that you should be grateful for your job. It pays the bills. It's stable. Your family counts on it.
But underneath the pros you can list off about it, there's this other voice. The one that wonders if this is really all there is. The one that remembers what you used to dream about before life got so busy and complicated. The one that's aching for work that actually lights you up instead of just wearing you down.
And the second that voice speaks up, here comes the other one to shut it down. "You're too old to start over. You don't have the right experience. What if you fail? What will others say? Better stick with what you know..."
Ladies, I know from personal experience that this internal battle gets EXHAUSTING. And what breaks my heart now, is watching it keep brilliant women stuck in place.
These incredibly capable women who've spent decades absorbing messages about what they should want, who they should be, and what's "realistic" at their age. Still dealing with thought patterns that have become so automatic, most women don't even realize they're running in the background, quietly shutting down every dream before it has a chance to grow.
The Science Behind Being Stuck
Alright, ladies, here's something that might blow your mind. When you think a limiting thought about your career—like "You’re too old to start over" or "You’ll likely fail anyway"—your body can't tell the difference between that thought and an actual threat.
Your brain literally responds the same way it would if you were face-to-face with danger. It sends stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline into your system. Your heart rate goes up. Your muscles tense. Your breath gets shallow. All because of a thought, an unhelpful thought that brings a judgmental, problem-focused lens.
And here's where it gets really interesting. When you've been thinking these limiting thoughts for years (maybe even decades) your body gets used to operating in this heightened stress state. It starts to feel normal. You might even feel uncomfortable when you're NOT stressed out or stuck, because your system has adapted to running on these stress hormones.
This is why that Sunday night dread can feel so physical, or why thinking about making a career change can make your stomach flip. Or even why you feel exhausted even though you haven't done anything particularly strenuous. Your thoughts are triggering a stress response, and your body is paying the price.
The good news is that your brain's neuroplasticity allows you to create new neural pathways at any age, especially when you practice new thought patterns consistently. Just like your brain can trigger a stress response with a limiting thought, it can also trigger a calm, focused response with an empowering one. When you shift your thinking, you literally change your body's chemistry. Different energy. Different possibilities.
Recognizing When Your Mindset Is Holding You Back
Let me share some signs that your mindset has stopped being your friend and started being your prison guard.
You're always waiting for the "right time." You keep saying things like "I'll pursue that dream when the kids are older" or "Once I have more experience, then I'll apply for that role." Your mindset is keeping you in this perpetual waiting room. And I’m going to give it to you straight, ladies! There will always be another reason to wait if you keep looking for one.
You automatically downplay your wins. Someone compliments your work or recognizes your expertise, and you immediately jump in with "Oh, it was nothing" or "Anyone could have done that." This reflexive dismissal of your own capabilities is a huge red flag that your internal story doesn't match up with reality. I did this for YEARS before I even realized what I was doing.
Your mind goes straight to worst-case scenarios. When you think about taking any kind of risk, your brain immediately serves up disaster movies. That's your protective mindset trying to keep you safe. But safe often means small. And you weren't put on this earth to play small!
You'd never talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself. Seriously, pay attention to your inner dialogue for just one day. Would you ever speak to someone you love the way you speak to yourself? If your internal voice is harsh and critical and constantly tearing you down, you're running a mindset that's actively working against any change you're trying to make.
You feel both frustrated and powerless at the same time. There's this specific feeling when you're stuck in limiting beliefs. You're annoyed about your circumstances but also convinced you can't do anything about them. When you catch yourself saying "That's just how it is" with that resigned sigh, your mindset has you believing that settling is your only option.
Creating Your Mindset Shift with Practical Steps
Here's what I love about mindset work… Just becoming more aware of your thoughts is transformative in itself! The moment you realize that your thoughts aren't actually facts but just your own interpretations, you've already started cracking open the door.
Let me walk you through how to start shifting your mindset from limitation to possibility. These are the exact steps I use with my coaching clients, and I promise they work when you're willing to put in the effort.
Step One: Become a Thought Detective
For the next week, just notice your thoughts. Don't try to change them yet. When you're thinking about a career move or considering a bold request or looking at a new opportunity, pay attention to what automatically plays in your head.
Keep it simple. Grab a notebook and write down the situation plus the thought that popped up. Like, "Saw a job posting I'd love" and immediately thought "I'm not qualified enough."
No judging. No fixing. Just noticing. Because awareness is where everything starts. You can't change what you can't see, ladies!
Step Two: Question the Story
Once you've got some data on your automatic thoughts, start getting curious about them. Stop accepting them as truth and start investigating them like a researcher.
For each limiting thought you wrote down, ask yourself some powerful questions. Is this actually true? Where's my evidence? Did I come up with this thought myself, or did I pick it up from someone else? What would I say to my best friend if she told me this about herself? What else might be true instead?
You're not trying to talk yourself out of real concerns here. You're just learning to tell the difference between actual obstacles and stories you've been telling yourself that only exist in your mind.
Step Three: Rewrite the Script
This is where neuroplasticity becomes your best friend! Time to start creating new neural pathways by choosing different thoughts on purpose.
For every limiting belief you identified, write an alternative that feels both empowering and believable. Don't try to leap from "I'm terrible at public speaking" to "I'm the best speaker in the world." That's way too big a jump, and your brain will reject it immediately.
Try something more like "I'm still learning to be comfortable with public speaking, and I have valuable ideas that deserve to be heard." Or "I feel nervous when I speak publicly, and I'm fully capable of doing it anyway."
Write your new thoughts down. Say them out loud. Practice them on purpose, especially when that old pattern tries to take over. Remember, you're making a new trail through the woods. It takes repetition before it sticks.
Studies on neuroplasticity show that adults can successfully rewire their brains with focused effort, proving it's never too late to change your mental patterns!
Step Four: Take Action Before You Feel Ready
Here's the big secret, ladies… You don't wait until your mindset is perfect before you take action. You take action to prove to yourself that your new mindset is real.
Every single time you act from your new belief instead of your old limitation, you're making that new neural pathway stronger. When you apply for that position even though the voice says you're not ready, you're literally teaching your brain that the old thought doesn't get to run your life anymore.
Start small if that feels better. If your limiting belief is "I have nothing valuable to contribute," start by sharing just one idea in your next meeting. Those small actions create momentum. They give you evidence that your new mindset is actually valid. And trust me, once you start collecting that evidence, everything begins to shift!
Step Five: Build Your Support System
This work is so much harder when you're trying to do it alone. Find people who will champion your growth instead of reinforcing your old limitations.
Maybe that means working with a mindset coach who can help you spot your blind spots and navigate the tricky parts. Maybe it means joining a community of other midlife women who are on this same journey. It definitely means spending less time with people who respond to your dreams with doubt or discouragement.
The people in your life got comfortable with the old version of you. When you start shifting, some of those relationships are going to need to shift too. And that's okay! Your growth is absolutely worth protecting.
Life After the Shift and What Changes Look Like
Let me tell you about Lisa. When she first started working with me, she was absolutely convinced that her 20 years in corporate marketing meant she was locked into that path forever. Her mindset was all scarcity. "At 47, no one's going to take a chance on someone trying something completely new."
But through our work together, Lisa started recognizing that so many of her beliefs about career limitations just weren't true. She went from only seeing obstacles to actually spotting possibilities.
And these days, Lisa runs her own consulting business. She picks her clients. She sets her own schedule. She’s financially secure. But the transformation wasn't really about the business. It was about who she became through the process of shifting her mindset.
The old Lisa who believed she was stuck would never have had the guts to pitch to major clients. She wouldn't have been able to negotiate her worth or trust herself to make bold calls. The Lisa who shifted her mindset is someone who knows her value, who acts even when she's scared, who creates opportunities instead of just waiting for them to show up.
This is what becomes possible when you do this internal work, ladies! This is what's waiting for you on the other side of your mindset shift.
The Invitation to Begin
I know what might be going through your head right now. Part of you is getting excited about what could change if you really shifted your mindset. But there's probably another part already coming up with reasons why this won't work for you.
That voice is your old mindset trying to protect itself. Because those limiting beliefs know that once you really see them for what they are (just thoughts, not truth), they lose their grip on you.
The first step to making any change in your life is this mindset shift. Everything else flows from it. Your confidence. Your decisions. Your actions. Your results. When you change what you believe is possible, you literally change what becomes possible!
You don't need to have everything figured out. You don't need to feel 100% confident before you start. You just need to be willing to question whether these thoughts that have been running your life are actually serving you. And then be brave enough to try thinking differently.
The career you dream about, the fulfillment you're craving, the impact you want to make… It all starts with recognizing that you have way more power than you've been conditioned to believe. And that power begins with a simple but profound mindset shift.
It's NEVER too late to step into your greatness. Let’s do this, ladies!
Ready to discover where mindset might be holding you back in your career? Take my FREE Career Alignment Assessment to identify the gaps between where you are and where you want to be.
I’m Dawn LaRae, The Midlife Career Whisperer™! I help midlife women design their dream career so they can experience passion and purpose in their work.
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