Why Smart, Successful Women Still Feel Stuck (And How to Break Free!)
You have the impressive resume, the respectable salary, and maybe even the corner office that your 25-year-old self dreamed about.
So why do you feel that familiar knot of dread in your stomach every Sunday evening? Why does Monday morning feel like a slow march toward something that should fulfill you but somehow... doesn't?
If you're a smart, successful midlife woman feeling stuck despite your achievements, you're not alone—and most importantly, you're definitely not broken! In fact, according to a recent Gallup report, global employee engagement declined to only 21% in 2024. What you’re experiencing has everything to do with energy, and once you understand this, EVERYTHING changes. I know that sounds like a big promise, but stick with me! Let me explain what this “energy” thing is all about.
The Success Paradox That No One Talks About
Here's what I've discovered in my career coaching practice: the most successful women can often be the most stuck energetically.
You've checked all the boxes. You've climbed the ladder. You've proven yourself time and again. Yet there's this persistent feeling that something is missing, that you're operating on autopilot, that the spark you once had has dimmed to barely a flicker.
And here’s what you maybe haven't heard before… That Sunday night dread is actually your energy system sending you crucial information about your career alignment. I mean, who knew our bodies were such intelligent career advisors, right?
What Your Body is Trying to Tell You
So let me share something that might sound revolutionary, or maybe even a little "woo woo"... Your body is constantly giving you career intelligence. That tightness in your shoulders during certain meetings, that pit in your stomach when you think about a particular project, that Sunday evening anxiety—these are all data points, ladies!
As a career coach, I work with something called Energy Leadership, which is simply understanding how our mental and emotional responses create different types of energy in our bodies. Think of it as your internal GPS system, constantly calibrating whether you're moving toward what lights you up or away from it.
There are two main types of energy at play:
Catabolic Energy feels draining, resistant, and exhausting.
Picture your body's stress response when you're in survival mode. That Sunday night dread we’e been talking about? The feeling of being trapped? That bone-deep exhaustion that no amount of coffee can fix? That's catabolic energy doing its thing.
Anabolic Energy feels expansive, constructive, and energizing.
This is when you're in flow, when time flies because you're so engaged, when work feels less like work and more like expression. You've felt this before, even if it's been a while!
Why Success Can Actually Make You More Stuck
Here's the thing that makes this especially challenging for accomplished women. External success can mask internal misalignment for years. You've gotten really good at pushing through, at making things work, at being the reliable one who gets things done.
But here's what I want you to really hear... Success without alignment creates a special kind of exhaustion that no amount of vacation days can fix.
I see this pattern constantly in my coaching practice. Brilliant women who've spent decades in careers that utilize maybe 30% of their true strengths and passions. They've been operating in what I call "survival mode" for so long that they've forgotten what it feels like to be energized by their work.
Sound familiar? You might recognize these energy-draining patterns:
Victim Mode: "I'm stuck here until retirement" or "I don't have any other options at my age"
Conflict Mode: Constantly battling with colleagues, with policies, with the way things are done
Rationalization Mode: "It's fine. I should be grateful. At least I have job security."
The biggest problem is that none of these energy states create the conditions for seeing new possibilities or taking brave action toward what you really want. When you're stuck in these patterns, your brain literally can't access creative problem-solving or see opportunities right in front of you.
The Breaking Point That Changes Everything
There usually comes a moment—maybe it's a health scare, a family crisis, or just waking up one day and realizing you can't fake enthusiasm for another year—when your energy system essentially says "enough."
While it might feel like a breakdown in the moment, it's a breakthrough waiting to happen. Even if it feels like you’ve hit rock bottom, or you’ve burnt out on burnout, it will all lead you to something greater if you let it.
Your inner wisdom has been trying to guide you toward something better, but you can't hear it clearly when you're operating from stress, resentment, or resignation. It's like trying to have a heart-to-heart conversation at a rock concert!
How to Break Free: The Energy Shift That Changes Everything
The beautiful thing about energy leadership is that once you understand it, you realize you always have choice in how you respond to any situation. Always. Even when it feels like you don't.
Here's how to start making that shift:
Step 1: Notice Your Energy Patterns
For the next week, pay attention to your physical responses throughout your workday. When do you feel energized? When do you feel drained? What specific situations, people, or tasks consistently create stress in your body?
Your body doesn't lie, ladies. If you're getting headaches every Tuesday after your team meeting, that's information worth exploring.
Step 2: Identify Your Energy Drains
Write down the top three things in your current role that consistently leave you feeling depleted. These might be:
Tasks that feel misaligned with your strengths
Workplace dynamics that don't honor your values
Projects that lack meaning or purpose for you
Step 3: Recognize What Energizes You
Now flip it. What aspects of your work (even small ones) leave you feeling energized and engaged? When do you lose track of time because you're so absorbed in what you're doing? These are clues to your authentic career direction, and they matter more than you might think.
Step 4: Choose Your Response
Here's where the real power lies. In any draining situation, you can ask yourself: "How do I want to show up here? What energy do I want to bring to this moment?"
Maybe you can't change your boss, but you can change how much of your mental energy you give to frustration about your boss. Maybe you can't overhaul your job description overnight, but you can start having conversations about taking on projects that align with your strengths.
Small shifts create big changes over time, I promise you.
Your Energy Is Your Compass
Ladies, your career doesn't have to be something you endure until retirement. That restless feeling, that sense that there's more for you… Trust it. Your energy is trying to guide you toward work that honors who you've become, not just who you were when you started this path.
The most successful career transformations I've witnessed as a career coach start with this simple recognition: you have more power over your experience than you think. It begins with understanding your energy, honoring what drains you, and taking small, brave steps toward what energizes you.
Success without alignment can feel good enough for awhile, but it will always lead to a desire for more. Success WITH alignment? THAT is where the truly magic happens. That's where Sunday evenings become peaceful, where Monday mornings hold possibility, where work becomes an expression of your truest self. And that is what I hope for all midlife women to achieve!
Ready to discover what's possible when your career and your energy are aligned? Take my FREE Career Alignment Assessment to identify where misalignment might be holding you back from the fulfillment you deserve.
I’m Dawn LaRae, The Midlife Career Whisperer™! I help midlife women design their dream career so they can experience passion and purpose in their work.
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