Your Values Are Your Compass. Are You Following It?
There is a version of you who knows exactly who she is. She knows what she stands for, what she will and will not tolerate, and she moves through her career and her life with a kind of confidence that doesn't need anyone's approval. You've felt her before. Maybe in a fleeting moment of clarity, or in that deep exhale you took the day you finally said no to something that didn't feel right.
She's not gone. She's just been waiting for you to come back to her.
I spent decades in the corporate world telling myself a story that I imagine a lot of you know well. I was driven, I was ambitious, I wanted a seat at the table. Growing up watching the Mary Tyler Moore Show, I was part of a generation of women who craved what so many of our mothers didn't have, a real professional life, a voice, a place in the room that mattered. And for a while, chasing that dream felt like enough.
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But somewhere along the way, something started to feel off. It wasn’t dramatic, and it didn’t happen all at once. a slow, quiet drift from the woman I actually was toward whoever I felt I needed to be to survive and succeed.
I said yes when I meant no. I executed plans I didn't believe in. I prioritized other people's approval over my own deepest beliefs. And I kept this little secret mostly to myself because I needed the financial security, and I'll be honest... I loved the feeling of looking like I had it all together.
It took me years to say out loud what I now know to be true. When you are working against your core values, you are working against everything that is REAL within you. Simply put, the who you are BEING is not aligned with the who you actually ARE.
The Real Cost of Living Out of Alignment
This isn't just about career satisfaction, ladies. So many of us have felt it in our bones for years, and the research backs it up. Core values at work directly impact worker health,in positive ways when they are honored and respected, and in deeply negative ways when they are missing or undermined. And research published in Scientific Reports found that addressing misaligned organizational values is one of the most effective ways to reduce occupational stress and burnout.
I want you to really sit with that for a moment. The exhaustion you feel on Sunday evening isn't just tiredness, and the tension in your shoulders that never quite goes away isn't just stress. A lot of the time, it's your body's response to being asked to show up as someone you are not. Let that sink in.
A woman I work with (we’ll call her Renee!) came to me after 18 years in healthcare administration. She was GREAT at her job. But almost every Sunday night, she lay awake with a heaviness she couldn't quite explain. So here’s what happened… When we started digging into her core values, she identified integrity, compassion, and connection as the three things that made her feel most like herself. And then we mapped her current work environment against those values. The picture wasn't pretty. She was being pushed to hit metrics that she felt compromised patient care, working in a culture where vulnerability was seen as weakness, and spending her days managing spreadsheets instead of connecting with people. It’s no wonder her body was screaming!
Burnout researchers Leiter and Maslach identified six areas of work that contribute to burnout, and values misalignment was among the key factors. Their research found that the greater the perceived gap between a person and their workplace environment, the higher the likelihood of burnout. So Renee definitely wasn't weak, and she wasn't ungrateful. She was living in direct conflict with who she was, and her body knew it long before her mind was ready to admit it.
But Renee’s story didn’t end there! Here are the three steps to stepping into alignment that you can use in your own life and career.
Step One: Get Close and Personal with Your Primary Values
The most important thing you can do right now, today, is take the time to truly know your own values. Not the values your parents raised you with, not the ones printed on your company's website. Yours.
Grab a piece of paper and write down your top three values. If you feel stuck, Brené Brown's Dare to Lead values list is a beautiful starting place. But here's the key thing I want you to remember as you do this exercise. If a value feels obligatory, if it feels like the "right" thing to choose rather than the true thing, cross it out and start over. We’re not looking for the values you think you should have. Were looking for the ones that, when you see them written down, cause something to flutter inside your chest. They bring you a sense of coming home.
I didn't get fully clear on my own values until last year, and when I did, I felt genuinely free for the first time in a long time. Autonomy, impact, and growth are the three words that explain everything... why I struggled in environments built on rigid hierarchy, why I light up as an entrepreneur, why coaching and writing and speaking feel like the truest expression of who I am. When I finally named them, I literally wanted to shout "THIS IS THE REAL ME!"
That feeling is what we’re chasing for you, too.
Step Two: Assess Your Current Boundary Levels
Once you have your top three values, I want you to get honest with yourself about what's actually happening in your day-to-day work life. For each value, ask yourself one simple question: Is my current work environment supporting this value or undermining it?
Let's make this real. If innovation is one of your core values and your boss micromanages every decision, what boundaries have you tried to put in place? Are they working? If fairness matters deeply to you and there is favoritism happening around you, what steps have you actually taken to protect your peace?
I know some of you are sitting with some uncomfortable truths right now. Maybe you've been telling yourself it's fine, it'll get better, this is just how things are. I said those things too, for years. And the slow erosion of living outside your values has a way of showing up in places you might not expect… In your relationships, in your health, maybe in a kind of low-grade exhaustionthat you've just accepted as normal. Research from the U.S. Surgeon General's Framework on Workplace Mental Health found that when leaders model and respect clear boundaries, workers report significantly greater well-being, and that feeling like you matter at work directly lowers stress and reduces risk of depression.
Your well-being matters. And it starts with an honest look at where you are right now.
Step Three: Create Boundary Strategies to Protect Your Values
Now comes the part that asks the most of you, and the part that will give back the most as well! For each of your top three values, I want you to create one clear boundary strategy, a specific, intentional way that you will step more fully into that value at work starting now.
These don't have to be dramatic declarations or difficult conversations right out of the gate. They can start small and still be powerful. Something like "Because I value family, I will leave work by 5:30 three days a week to be present for dinner" or "Because I value creativity, I will protect two hours each week for developing new ideas, and I will guard that time fiercely."
The key is to write these down somewhere you will actually see them. On a sticky note on your monitor, or in your journal. Maybe at the front of your planner. Because as midlife women, we are excellent at taking care of everyone else and letting our own needs get pushed to the back of the line. These boundary strategies are your permission slip to finally, unapologetically, take care of yourself.
Research on midlife career transitions found that the people who experienced the most growth and empowerment through change were those who re-evaluated life purpose, redefined what success meant to them, and integrated their past experiences as part of their journey forward. Your history is not something to regret. Every single season of your career, including the seasons where you drifted from yourself, has brought you to this moment of clarity.
The Permission You Never Needed
Ladies, I'll leave you with the most important thing I know. You don't need anyone's permission to prioritize your values or your well-being. Not your boss. Not your organization. Not your family. Not the version of yourself that spent years believing she had to earn the right to take up space.
No one is going to protect your values for you. That is YOUR job. And it is the most important work you will ever do!
If you only take one thing from this post, let it be this... When you are clear on your values, and bold enough to build your life around them, everything changes. The way you carry yourself, the decisions you make, the energy you bring into every room. You stop surviving your career and you start truly living it.
That is what I want for you. That is why I show up every single day as the Midlife Career Whisperer. And I am cheering you on with everything I have!
It's never too late.
With love and fierce belief in you,
Dawn LaRae
The Midlife Career Whisperer
P.S. If you've been feeling that familiar pull toward something more aligned — but you're not quite sure where the disconnect is — take my free Career Alignment Assessment. It's a beautiful starting place for getting honest with yourself about where you are and where you're truly meant to be.
I’m Dawn LaRae, The Midlife Career Whisperer™! I help midlife women design their dream career so they can experience passion and purpose in their work.
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