Writing & Publications

There is a particular ache that lives somewhere between your ribs when you think about the path not taken. The director role you didn't apply for. The business idea you tucked away. The stretch assignment you watched someone else raise their hand for, while you sat quietly and told yourself you weren't ready.

If that sounds familiar, you are not broken. You are human. And you are also sitting on some of the most powerful information you will ever have about who you truly are — and who you are still becoming.

Do you remember permission slips? That little slip of paper that got you out of class, signed by someone in authority, granting you access to something different? Maybe it was for a field trip, a special event, or getting out of school early. Someone decided you had permission, and suddenly you felt it. That tiny piece of paper held real power.

There is a version of you who knows exactly who she is. She knows what she stands for, what she will and will not tolerate, and she moves through her career and her life with a kind of confidence that doesn't need anyone's approval. You've felt her before. Maybe in a fleeting moment of clarity, or in that deep exhale you took the day you finally said no to something that didn't feel right.

It usually starts somewhere around 11 PM. You're tired, you should be asleep, but your mind has other plans. The same question you've been sitting with for months is running its loop again... and no matter how many times you've gone over it, you can't seem to land anywhere new. You know this isn't helping. You know you should just let it go. And somehow, knowing that doesn't make it stop.

There's a question I love to ask the women I coach, and it tends to stop them cold.

"Who are you when you're not being who everyone needs you to be?"

Not who you were. Not who you think you should be. Who are YOU?

Most midlife women need a long moment to answer that. And the pause itself is a sign that you've been so brilliantly busy adapting to everyone around you that you've temporarily misplaced yourself.