Newsletter: September 2026
Who Are You When No One's Watching? Reclaiming Your True Self in Midlife
There's a question worth sitting with: Who are you when you're not being who everyone else needs you to be? Not who you were, not who you should be — but who you actually are? If that question makes you pause, you're not alone. Many midlife women have spent decades being the dependable one — the devoted mother, the reliable colleague, the supportive partner — and somewhere along the way, they became master chameleons, adapting and accommodating so seamlessly they lost sight of their own original colors.
Author Martha Beck describes this tension beautifully in The Way of Integrity: we're each born with a nature — an essential self, a core truth — but culture shapes us from day one. Family rules, gender expectations, workplace norms, generational messages like "don't make waves" or "put others first" — none of these are inherently bad, but if we're not paying attention, culture can override nature. The result is exhaustion, a quiet loss of self, and the unsettling feeling of living by borrowed values that were never really yours to begin with.
Here's the good news: something is shifting.
Midlife women everywhere are feeling a pull back to themselves — a restlessness that isn't a crisis, but a calling. That essential self hasn't disappeared. She's waiting beneath all the layers of adaptation and approval-seeking, ready to re-emerge. And at this stage of life, with all the wisdom, resilience, and experience you've accumulated, there's no better time to answer that call.
Reconnecting with your authentic self starts with three things: your natural strengths (what comes easily and energizes you), your core values (the non-negotiables that, when violated, tear you up inside), and your passions (sometimes quiet whispers rather than loud declarations). These aren't abstract concepts — they're the building blocks of a life and career that feel like home rather than a performance.
You don't need anyone's permission to be yourself. Not your partner's, not your children's, not your boss's. In midlife, you have earned the right to take up space as you. The world doesn't need another version of what someone else thinks you should be. It needs your true colors.
Your Challenge This Week
The Chameleon Catch: How to Start Hearing Your Authentic Voice
Many midlife women have spent years perfecting the art of adaptation — shifting to meet the moment, softening opinions to keep the peace, saying yes when every part of them wants to say no. It's a survival skill, but there's a cost: over time, it leaves us disconnected from who we actually are.
The good news? You don't need a dramatic overhaul to find your way back. You just need to start noticing. Here's how:
Step 1: Catch the shift. This week, notice moments when you're adapting in a way that doesn't feel like you — nodding along when you disagree, swallowing your real opinion to keep the peace, saying you're fine when you're actually frustrated, or saying yes when everything inside you wants to say no.
Step 2: Pause and breathe. When you catch it, stop for three seconds. Take a breath. Bring yourself back into your body for a moment.
Step 3: Ask the question. Quietly, to yourself: What would my authentic self do right now? What would I say or do if I weren't afraid of rejection or judgment?
Step 4: Write it down. You don't have to act on the answer — not yet. Just capture it. One sentence: My authentic self wanted to say no. The real me disagreed with that decision. That's it.
The more you practice hearing that voice, the louder and clearer it gets. First, you learn to listen. Then, you learn to trust it.
What I’m Reading
Why "Audacious" Belongs on Your Nightstand This Season
If you're a woman in the thick of your career—accomplished, capable, and quietly wondering if you've been playing it too safe—Marty McDonald's Audacious is worth the read. McDonald, founder of Boss Women Media, built her breakout career moment out of a hallway pitch to a candy company CEO. That boldness is the throughline of the book: a call to stop shrinking, stop over-editing yourself for other people's comfort, and start showing up as who you actually are.
For midlife professionals especially, this hits different. By this stage, many of us have spent years perfecting the art of being palatable—agreeable, accommodating, easy to work with—often at the cost of being fully ourselves. McDonald tackles that head-on: the comparison traps, the scarcity thinking, the fear of rejection that keeps smart, capable women small. She reframes "no" not as a door closing, but as the start of a real conversation. And she's honest about the failures alongside the wins, which makes the book feel less like a highlight reel and more like a hand extended to help you up.
It's not a heavily-researched business text—it's more personal, more testimony than textbook. But that's exactly what makes it land: it reads like a coaching session with someone who's actually done the work.
Takeaway for you: If part of you has been asking "is this really it, or is there a bolder version of my career I've been talking myself out of?"—this book is a nudge to find out.
Coming Soon…
The Morning 20 is officially getting a makeover!
Because honestly… who has 20 minutes?! Especially when you’re a midlife woman juggling work, life, family, expectations, and approximately 47 tabs open in your brain. 😅
So I’m pivoting.
Introducing… The Fierce 5.
Five minutes.
One fierce idea.
A hard truth.
A practical shift you can actually use.
This isn’t about adding another thing to your already-full day.
It’s about giving you a few minutes to come back to YOU — the woman, leader, and human you’ve become. Coming this September to my social media channels!